There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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