fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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