I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
