It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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