I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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