I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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