Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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