this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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