That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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