I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
