Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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