My nipple is on Facebook.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
