Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
