We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize