But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
