Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
