he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize