he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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