MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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