is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
