i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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