I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
