I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
