I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
