Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
