If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
