well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize