I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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