now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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