So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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