Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Randomize
