Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
