therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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