its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
