if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
