This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
