I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
