wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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