Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
