it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
