Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
