they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
