Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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