she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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