i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
