I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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