some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize