My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
id be glad to
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
