I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
