when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
