Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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