My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
