DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
