i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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