Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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