Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He passed out mid-signature
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
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Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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