i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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