He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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