I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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