It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
