Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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