I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
